At the end of December each year, I choose a word to focus on for the coming year. The word I chose this year is bold. It came to me while I was working in the studio experimenting with colors I don’t ordinarily use and wrestling with how to continue making work that looks and feels like my own while mixing things up and keeping it fresh. For me, that means bringing in elements that are round to counter my penchant for ordered squares. It means letting my paintings get wild before I rush in to quiet them. It means getting messy when I prefer things neat and tidy - mise en place.
Sometimes what we need to balance us is a little bit of our opposite. This is not a comfortable experience. It actually means getting profoundly uncomfortable at times.
I am happy with how the painting above - Seerose - turned out, but let me tell you, it kicked about my studio for weeks stumping me. It was awkwardly bright and garish color-wise, and the shapes were disjointed and unrelated. I had a hard time looking at it; I turned it around a few times to face the wall. Periodically towards the end of a day of painting, I’d hoist it up onto my table and work on it and then hang it on the wall and step back to study what was emerging.
photo credit: Hannah Hoggatt
I had to hang in the unknown for much longer than usual. I had to let it get a bit ugly, if you will, before I worked to resolve it. Along the way, I talked myself through it. ‘This was just for me,’ I told myself. This was an experiment. No one ever needed to see this if I decided not to show it. I could always cover it up later.
Over the years as artists we gradually develop a higher tolerance for being uncomfortable in the studio, but it never gets easy. All the voices are there in our heads chattering away, threatening to tear down our hard won confidence.
A stubborn painting that makes us work, however, can be an excellent teacher, pointing out the edge of our knowing and showing us where we need to go next. I’ve written about the idea of “riding the wave” in the studio previously and it’s a good post to go back and read if you missed it or if you are in a bit of a slump at the moment. It can be helpful to know that you are not alone and in fact it’s all part of the process of being an artist.
photo credit: Hannah Hoggatt
If I’ve improved at one thing as a result of the many hours I’ve spent alone in my studio painting, it is getting better at managing the ups and downs of my painting practice, riding the proverbial waves, enjoying the highs, and taking the lows in stride. In choosing the word “bold” to characterize 2022, I gave myself permission to paint in a way that pushes my edge, to take bigger risks with color, to mix things up. It is what I know I need to move forward.
In addition to changing things up in the studio, I am working on developing some new workshop content. I had a wonderful time running a week-long residency for artists in 2021 and am putting together another immersive residency-style experience for artists in 2023.
In many ways our studio practice reflects our lives. What is your practice asking of you right now? Is there a way to bring in a small amount of something that is the opposite of your tendency or nature? What risks can you take in 2022 to move your practice forward? These are great questions to noodle on or journal about at the beginning of your studio day.